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The Full 90 with Mike Avery

90 word reflections on coaching. (Not as easy as it sounds, but neither is coaching.)


Reflection 11: 90 words on "intentional eavesdropping".

A pre-adoption class preparing for our son’s arrival.

“Intentional eavesdropping”, we were told, “is when the adopted child overhears the parent speaking about the excitement, pride, love and joy the family is feeling now that the adopted child has finally made it home.”

Influencing feelings of bonding and belonging.

And influenced my coaching.

When players overhear coach praising them - expressing pride, amazement, joy, and excitement of having them on the team - the impact is massive.

Influencing feelings of bonding and belonging.

Choose our words wisely.

Let them hear us.


It should be about the players. As soon as the coach becomes the one in the spotlight, you know you're headed for trouble.

- Steve Kerr, Head Coach, Golden State Warriors

"We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and makes us kinder and more open to what scares us. We always have this choice. "

- Pema Chodron, The Places That Scare You

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